Misery loves company: What's worse than one child with anorexia? Two of course...
So after 4.5 years my youngest has copied the eldest in order to manage her stress with anorexia. I can only describe this as the world contracting around me into a miasma of gloom, where no light shines anymore. To see a horizon requires a combination of incredible presence and a naïve optimism that is the irrationality of a dying traveller seeing a mirage in a desert. I know, objectively, I have to resist this temptation, but living in the moment and being able to see the good and the joy, just becomes exponentially more difficult when you're trying to keep two teenagers from starving themselves to death and are failing. The hardest is knowing that what they need - a father who is present able to share in their joy and be open enough to them that they can talk - is almost impossible without a supreme effort. After each setback (and these are both big and small and populate every day, one after another out until god knows when...) as you crumble internally and the buzzing i...